Homemade In-n-Out Animal Fries

We haven’t been to Southern California in a little over 3 months now. That means that the In-n-Out withdrawal, the so-called “out-n-out,” has finally set in. Luckily for us, with AK‘s creativity and SP‘s methodicalness, we have a temporary solution until our next visit West. Or South. Wherever there’s burgers.

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We’ve tried a few different ways of making what we miss most: animal style fries. People like the burgers and all, but for us, it’s all about that extremely saucy, super oniony fry mixture that gets our motors running. There are some serious bummer recipes out there that basically say that Thousand Island dressing is the same thing. They’re wrong. Here’s the closest we’ve come:

THE RECIPE FOR THE SOUSE:

  • 1 cup Hellmann’s Light Mayo
  • 1/2 cup (or a little extra) Ketchup
  • 3 Tbsp sweet pickle relish
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp pepper
  • 1 tsp sugar
  • 1 tsp cider vinegar

Basically you mix all of it and set it in the fridge for a couple hours for maximum impact. But making it looks a little funny.

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Heinz for the appropriate taste.

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Maaaayo. Maaaaaaaaaaaayo. Daylight come and me wanna make fries.

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SOMEONE BLED ALL OVER OUR MAYO!

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We relish making this sauce.

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You can also add a bit of garlic powder if you want.

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If you went to Kindergarten, you may remember that you get different colors when you mix stuff together.

Ok, so the sauce is made. The next important part is the umyum. This part is even more tricky than mixing the sauce because it requires patience, varying temperatures, and a keen eye. We’ll leave the eyeball part to AK.

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White onion outperforms yellow onion in this mixture.

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Dice. (Yes there’s yellow onion back there that we were going to use for our Sloppy Joes.)

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A tbsp and a half of vegetable oil, and throw in the onions.

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Leave it on super low heat, covered, for 30 minutes. For serious. Just leave it alone. SP STOP OPENING IT TO CHECK ON THEM!

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After that 30 minutes, bring the heat up and stir for about 6-8 minutes. Then throw in 1/4-1/2 cup of water, leaving it on hot, and let the water cook out. This will help loosen any stubborn bits of umyum and help the flavor get a bit smoky.

Ok. Now it’s time to build our animal fries. We may be a bit sacrilegious because we aren’t using cheese, but then again, we can’t source In-n-Out fries either. So this can only be a temporary fix.

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We used some Ore Ida “zesties.” They’re great seasoned fries to make in the oven and really good quality fries no matter the style you get. 

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Get some of the umyums on there.

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DOUSE IN SOUSE!!

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Served tonight alongside some homemade Untidy Josephs.

Please feel free to try the recipe and give us your feedback!

Man it feels good to type up some stuff again. Catch you on the flip-flop?

-SPAK

[FHCx366] National Champagne Day

THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE END!

IT’S NATIONAL CHAMPAGNE DAY!

366 days straight of food holiday challenges. No retrospective in this post. No “here’s our favorites.” Nah, we’ll save that for another time. We have to get to the NYE partying!

And in true SPAK spirit, we want to avoid the actual alcohol (and fizziness for AK specifically) and circumvent the process. Not only that, but we’d probably have people arguing over what’s “real” champagne anyway. So we got these two things from Sugarfina – thanks looking out, SPom!

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Champagne gummi bears and Champagne Marshmallows! The gummi bears tasted like gummi bears.

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The marshmallows had actual gold on them which made them kind of expensive. They were also super squishy and delicate. Not your Stay Puft kind of mallow.

Well that’s it! A full trip around the food holiday calendar. Tomorrow is National Bloody Mary Day, but you probably already knew that!

Happy New Year, and thanks for all the support in our Food Holiday Challenge! Stay tuned in 2017 for further blog posts.

-SPAK

[FHCx365] National Bacon Day/National Bicarbonate of Soda Day

If this weren’t a leap year we’d be done tonight…

IT’S BACON DAY AND NATIONAL BICARBONATE OF SODA DAY!

Truly fitting that in our last moments of the Food Holiday Challenge that we revisit some classic food holiday shenaniganry: having two holidays for the same food. That’s right, bacon’s been done before. So it wasn’t too hard to just get some bacon and make it. It went perfectly with the latkes AK made for brunch.

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Nueske’s is the business.

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Latkes being prepared.

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AK was kind of scared of the bacon in the hot pan.

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Latkes are best served with applesauce and sour cream, btw.

Bicarbonate of Soda. Sodium Bicarbonate has many uses in food as a leavening agent, like we used in our date nut bread not long ago (and ate today as part of Baking Soda day). It also has a number of non-food uses, including: pest control, disinfectants, fire extinguishers, personal hygiene, and running jokes from Groucho Marx. So thanks, science! You made food and the world better.

Tomorrow… is National Champagne Day!

-SPAK

[FHCx364] National Pepper Pot Day

two… days…

IT’S NATIONAL PEPPER POT DAY!

As we drag ourselves towards the finish line of December 31st, we had one more major investment of a food holiday to go before easy street kicked in. This doozy of a day is actually dual in meaning, and we took it in a direction that others probably would not.

You see, pepper pot sounds harmless enough. However, a quick search on wikipedia reveals that there are TWO completely different foods both called pepper pot! There’s the Philadelphia Pepper Pot, invented during the American Revolutionary War to keep troops fed on hearty food through winter, and there’s Guyanese Pepperpot, a stewed meat dish traditionally served around Christmas that uses some very peculiar ingredients. Being adventurous, or rather having a SPad who likes challenges, we opted for the latter.

This meant first acquiring some casareep, a very appetizing-looking black sauce made from cassava root. Allow us to read this important passage, *ahem*: “Cassareep is made from the juice of the bitter cassava root, which is poisonous (it contains acetone cyanohydrin, a compound which decomposes to the highly toxic hydrogen cyanide on contact with water).” Glad we had this talk.

Another main component of Guyanese Pepperpot is the wiri wiri pepper. So many things that are basically unique to this one dish.

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Since SPad made the rest of this, we can’t speak much to the preparation. Just know that it required many pounds of meat including oxtail for its marrow. The final product was beautiful. It is best to make it a couple days ahead of time and let it sit for a while. But then this happens:

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Layer of congealed fat. YESSSSSSS.

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Ok so now that’s cleared up a bit…

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Beautiful beef and peppers with some couscous.

A well-met endeavor. Thanks, SPad!

Tomorrow is National Bicarbonate of Soda Day (Baking Soda) and National Bacon Day (the International version being one we already celebrated).

-SPAK

[FHCx363] National Chocolate Candy Day

THREE left.

TODAY IS NATIONAL CHOCOLATE CANDY!

Take your pick of chocolate candy. We picked these two for some seriously good reasons. First up, Kit Kat.

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There’s a special ring of hell for people who eat Kit Kats like this.

Not that there’s one right way to eat a Kit Kat, but come on people. Be civilized. Kit Kat is definitely one of SP‘s kryptonite foods. Not that it’s objectively amazing, but there’s something beautiful in the simplicity of chocolate wafer layers. We got ours in KING SIZE today.

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We also had a Snickers today. When it comes down to advertising candies, Snickers really did a great job. They’re pretty ingenious at the digital manipulation of pre-existing scenes. Our favorite of the “you’re being a butt; have a snickers” ads is Danny Trejo/Steve Buscemi:

King size wasn’t sufficient for the Snickers today. You call that king size? HOW ABOUT DIS.

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ONE POUND.

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Look at that beautiful cross section.

Chocolate candy really is the best candy.

Tomorrow is National Pepper Pot Day.

-SPAK

[FHCx362] National Fruitcake Day

Gonna make it to Saturday night!

IT’S NATIONAL FRUITCAKE DAY!

There are a lot of jokes made at the expense of fruitcakes. Let’s just roll through a few:

Rhonda lands a lucrative government contact when it's discovered that her holiday fruitcakes are bullet-proof.fruitcakebc2bfruitcake

Where did this running joke even come from? Why don’t people like fruitcake? There’s this amazing article from the Washington Post that talks about fruitcake’s image in the US. The most memorable joke about fruitcake is likely the original: Johnny Carson joked that there really is only one fruitcake and it just keeps getting passed around.

Since then, the fruitcake industry has just been in ruins. Really! It’s fruit in cake! What bad about it?

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A present from SPom

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Cute little fruitcake!

It’s moist and dense and cherry-y and mmmm. Could eat this all day, people!

Tomorrow is National Chocolate Candy Day.

-SPAK

 

[FHCx361] National Candy Cane Day

CANDY CANE DAY IS TODAY AND NOT YESTERDAY FOR SOME REASON!

Before ironically becoming the go-to pseudonym inspiration for porn actresses everywhere, candy canes were meant as a call back to the good shepherds who hung out with Baby Jesus back in the day. Allegedly, they started in Germany like 400 years ago when a choirmaster needed some sort of sugary distraction to get noisy church kids to shut up. Who knew?

This probably isn’t how they did it in 17th-century Cologne, but check out this neat video on how candy canes are made:

 

The candy cane we acquired for today’s celebration broke immediately, as candy canes do. Then AK found a tiny one at work, plus we thought to use this as an excuse to eat a minty Hershey bar. Yay!

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Tomorrow is National Fruit Cake Day.

– SPAK