[FHCx363] National Chocolate Candy Day

THREE left.

TODAY IS NATIONAL CHOCOLATE CANDY!

Take your pick of chocolate candy. We picked these two for some seriously good reasons. First up, Kit Kat.

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There’s a special ring of hell for people who eat Kit Kats like this.

Not that there’s one right way to eat a Kit Kat, but come on people. Be civilized. Kit Kat is definitely one of SP‘s kryptonite foods. Not that it’s objectively amazing, but there’s something beautiful in the simplicity of chocolate wafer layers. We got ours in KING SIZE today.

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We also had a Snickers today. When it comes down to advertising candies, Snickers really did a great job. They’re pretty ingenious at the digital manipulation of pre-existing scenes. Our favorite of the “you’re being a butt; have a snickers” ads is Danny Trejo/Steve Buscemi:

King size wasn’t sufficient for the Snickers today. You call that king size? HOW ABOUT DIS.

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ONE POUND.

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Look at that beautiful cross section.

Chocolate candy really is the best candy.

Tomorrow is National Pepper Pot Day.

-SPAK

[FHCx361] National Candy Cane Day

CANDY CANE DAY IS TODAY AND NOT YESTERDAY FOR SOME REASON!

Before ironically becoming the go-to pseudonym inspiration for porn actresses everywhere, candy canes were meant as a call back to the good shepherds who hung out with Baby Jesus back in the day. Allegedly, they started in Germany like 400 years ago when a choirmaster needed some sort of sugary distraction to get noisy church kids to shut up. Who knew?

This probably isn’t how they did it in 17th-century Cologne, but check out this neat video on how candy canes are made:

 

The candy cane we acquired for today’s celebration broke immediately, as candy canes do. Then AK found a tiny one at work, plus we thought to use this as an excuse to eat a minty Hershey bar. Yay!

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Tomorrow is National Fruit Cake Day.

– SPAK

[FHCx354] National Hard Candy Day/National Oatmeal Muffin Day

IT’S NATIONAL HARD CANDY DAY AND NATIONAL OATMEAL MUFFIN DAY!

As children, some of us are particular about the flavors we’ll deign to ingest. That includes me, AK, to the point that I didn’t eat non-chocolate candy unless it was grape flavored. Well, really, purple flavored. We all know grapes don’t taste like that.

For years, any time I accompanied AKma to the grocery store, I’d go home with a purple thumb lollipop… pending good behavior. Some days the automatic coupon dispensers were too alluring, and a purple thumb lollipop is not always worth more than the joy of running up and down the aisles taking coupons you don’t need.

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Are these still a thing anywhere?

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This seems to be the only internet evidence of the thumb pops. What an unfortunate mold shape, in retrospect.

ANYWAY — a while back, I bought a bag of Jolly Ranchers with the intent of making stained glass window cookies. Unsurprisingly I never got around to it, so we finally cracked the bag today!

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No soft candy here!

My 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Whitton, frequently held candy counting contests. It wasn’t until I won a gallon jar filled with these fruity beauties that I began to understand the wonder of non-grape fruit-flavored candies. We nursed that jar of Jolly Ranchers for years.

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Green Apple is the best. Fight me.

On to the next! Finding oatmeal muffins was surprisingly difficult. Granted, we only looked in one grocery store… but THAT’S NOT THE POINT! We made some instead.

AKpa and AKma gave us a swanky new blender, so it seemed like a decent plan to use this recipe for Blender Banana Oatmeal Muffins.

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Don’t you love it when a recipe calls for things you already have in your kitchen? The only change I made was substituting Greek yogurt with sour cream, mostly because I was too lazy to go buy yogurt (and not because I know anything about baking). Worked out okay. Also, you can use mix-ins such as chocolate chips or nuts. We left ours plain.

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Preheat the ol’ oven and grease some cups

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All the ingredients just go in the blender! Except for the mix-ins, if you’re doing those.

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Fill ’em up 3/4 of the way

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Bake for 15 minutes!

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Behold! Muffins!

These suckers came out super moist! So moist, in fact, that we decided to refrigerate them rather than leaving them on the cute dessert stand. P.S. how do you like the glass dome? It’s a mixing bowl, because I broke the dome that came with the stand just seconds after purchasing it. Slick.

Tomorrow is National Sangria Day.

– SPAK

[FHCx347] National Gingerbread House Day/National Ambrosia Day

Sweet!

IT’S NATIONAL GINGERBREAD HOUSE DAY AND NATIONAL AMBROSIA DAY!

One of these is an appropriate Decembertime food. The other is definitely a Southern USA summer dish. So Southern that we used Alton Brown’s recipe for it. Ambrosia is basically an extension of fruit salad, and not the drink of immortality of the Greek pantheon. Oh well.

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Makin’ some whipped cream.

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Mini marshmallows, fruits, coconut shavings, and chopped pecans.

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Gooey and fruity and sugary.

Because we couldn’t get enough of a sugar high off of that, we also made and ate some Gingerbread House! Gingerbread used to be restricted to professional bakers in Germany and France except on Christmas and Easter, when anyone could bake it. It got to the point where there were fierce competitions of professional gingerbread bakers. The shaping into houses made it all the more fun.

Current record for size is this dude from Texas who made a 2520-square-foot home. That’s more than 1.5 times as big as SPAK‘s house. It used up 1800 pounds of butter. And the total calorie count? Estimated at 35.8 million. That’s enough calories for an adult male to eat for 49 years.

And here we are, building ours from a kit.

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The required statement of any food-house we build together.

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It was hit by a snowcandy storm before it was disassembled and partly eaten.

All these sweets put us right in the mood for bedtime. ‘Night everybody!

Tomorrow is National Ice Cream & Violins Day and National Cocoa Day.

-SPAK

[FHCx342] National Cotton Candy Day

cotton-candy

IT’S NATIONAL COTTON CANDY DAY!

Lots of people try to claim the invention of cotton candy. What’s important is that we have a bunch of sugar spun together to make these very unique texture of very sugar flavor. Try to call it some other flavor, and we’ll call you on it. It’s all cotton candy.

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We tried them back to back and they all tasted like cotton candy! Go figure. Still a fun little treat.

Tomorrow is National Brownie Day.

-SPAK

[FHCx309] National Candy Day

If you didn’t binge on all of it already…

TODAY IS NATIONAL CANDY DAY!

If you’re a grown-ass adult, you likely bought a bunch of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters this past Monday. And why wasn’t Halloween National Candy Day? Or National Pumpkin Day for that matter? Probably because we have a whole bunch leftover, and if it has lasted you for 4 days, then you need a national holiday to give you the confidence to take it all out.

Just remember, you can still give it away days after Halloween. You don’t have to eat all of it.

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Tomorrow is National Doughnut Day!

-SPAK

[FHCx304] National Candy Corn Day/National Buy a Doughnut Day

TODAY IS NATIONAL CANDY CORN DAY AND NATIONAL BUY A DOUGHNUT DAY!

Let’s face it: candy corn is just solidified frosting. We’d know, considering we just used a bunch of that stuff to ice a haunted chocolate house. And for those who don’t like frosting, a rare breed like SPad, candy corn isn’t all that appealing. Ask most adults and they’ll tell you that candy corn is not high on their list of priorities. Originally, it was called chicken feed, so you can tell what people of the 1880s thought of it, too.

Still, many fondant candies cannot compare to the prolific candy corn. It’s not corn but it’s still good!

The classic candy corn!

Just a few of these is enough to give you a sugar rush.

We also had to buy a doughnut day. Heaven forbid we look at the bakery section at our store. I mean, look at it!

Aw jeez, what’re we gonna do…

We opted for the fried cinnamon donut, just to be a bit different. It’s mapley!

Now coming up on Saturday is the second National Doughnut Day of the year. We thought we could hold off on this one until then but then decided against it. We’ll do something more special on Saturday than generic grocery donut!

Tomorrow is National Caramel Apple Day.

-SPAK