Homemade In-n-Out Animal Fries

We haven’t been to Southern California in a little over 3 months now. That means that the In-n-Out withdrawal, the so-called “out-n-out,” has finally set in. Luckily for us, with AK‘s creativity and SP‘s methodicalness, we have a temporary solution until our next visit West. Or South. Wherever there’s burgers.

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We’ve tried a few different ways of making what we miss most: animal style fries. People like the burgers and all, but for us, it’s all about that extremely saucy, super oniony fry mixture that gets our motors running. There are some serious bummer recipes out there that basically say that Thousand Island dressing is the same thing. They’re wrong. Here’s the closest we’ve come:

THE RECIPE FOR THE SOUSE:

  • 1 cup Hellmann’s Light Mayo
  • 1/2 cup (or a little extra) Ketchup
  • 3 Tbsp sweet pickle relish
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp pepper
  • 1 tsp sugar
  • 1 tsp cider vinegar

Basically you mix all of it and set it in the fridge for a couple hours for maximum impact. But making it looks a little funny.

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Heinz for the appropriate taste.

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Maaaayo. Maaaaaaaaaaaayo. Daylight come and me wanna make fries.

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SOMEONE BLED ALL OVER OUR MAYO!

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We relish making this sauce.

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You can also add a bit of garlic powder if you want.

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If you went to Kindergarten, you may remember that you get different colors when you mix stuff together.

Ok, so the sauce is made. The next important part is the umyum. This part is even more tricky than mixing the sauce because it requires patience, varying temperatures, and a keen eye. We’ll leave the eyeball part to AK.

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White onion outperforms yellow onion in this mixture.

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Dice. (Yes there’s yellow onion back there that we were going to use for our Sloppy Joes.)

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A tbsp and a half of vegetable oil, and throw in the onions.

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Leave it on super low heat, covered, for 30 minutes. For serious. Just leave it alone. SP STOP OPENING IT TO CHECK ON THEM!

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After that 30 minutes, bring the heat up and stir for about 6-8 minutes. Then throw in 1/4-1/2 cup of water, leaving it on hot, and let the water cook out. This will help loosen any stubborn bits of umyum and help the flavor get a bit smoky.

Ok. Now it’s time to build our animal fries. We may be a bit sacrilegious because we aren’t using cheese, but then again, we can’t source In-n-Out fries either. So this can only be a temporary fix.

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We used some Ore Ida “zesties.” They’re great seasoned fries to make in the oven and really good quality fries no matter the style you get. 

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Get some of the umyums on there.

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DOUSE IN SOUSE!!

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Served tonight alongside some homemade Untidy Josephs.

Please feel free to try the recipe and give us your feedback!

Man it feels good to type up some stuff again. Catch you on the flip-flop?

-SPAK

[FHCx365] National Bacon Day/National Bicarbonate of Soda Day

If this weren’t a leap year we’d be done tonight…

IT’S BACON DAY AND NATIONAL BICARBONATE OF SODA DAY!

Truly fitting that in our last moments of the Food Holiday Challenge that we revisit some classic food holiday shenaniganry: having two holidays for the same food. That’s right, bacon’s been done before. So it wasn’t too hard to just get some bacon and make it. It went perfectly with the latkes AK made for brunch.

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Nueske’s is the business.

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Latkes being prepared.

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AK was kind of scared of the bacon in the hot pan.

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Latkes are best served with applesauce and sour cream, btw.

Bicarbonate of Soda. Sodium Bicarbonate has many uses in food as a leavening agent, like we used in our date nut bread not long ago (and ate today as part of Baking Soda day). It also has a number of non-food uses, including: pest control, disinfectants, fire extinguishers, personal hygiene, and running jokes from Groucho Marx. So thanks, science! You made food and the world better.

Tomorrow… is National Champagne Day!

-SPAK

[FHCx363] National Chocolate Candy Day

THREE left.

TODAY IS NATIONAL CHOCOLATE CANDY!

Take your pick of chocolate candy. We picked these two for some seriously good reasons. First up, Kit Kat.

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There’s a special ring of hell for people who eat Kit Kats like this.

Not that there’s one right way to eat a Kit Kat, but come on people. Be civilized. Kit Kat is definitely one of SP‘s kryptonite foods. Not that it’s objectively amazing, but there’s something beautiful in the simplicity of chocolate wafer layers. We got ours in KING SIZE today.

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We also had a Snickers today. When it comes down to advertising candies, Snickers really did a great job. They’re pretty ingenious at the digital manipulation of pre-existing scenes. Our favorite of the “you’re being a butt; have a snickers” ads is Danny Trejo/Steve Buscemi:

King size wasn’t sufficient for the Snickers today. You call that king size? HOW ABOUT DIS.

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ONE POUND.

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Look at that beautiful cross section.

Chocolate candy really is the best candy.

Tomorrow is National Pepper Pot Day.

-SPAK

[FHCx362] National Fruitcake Day

Gonna make it to Saturday night!

IT’S NATIONAL FRUITCAKE DAY!

There are a lot of jokes made at the expense of fruitcakes. Let’s just roll through a few:

Rhonda lands a lucrative government contact when it's discovered that her holiday fruitcakes are bullet-proof.fruitcakebc2bfruitcake

Where did this running joke even come from? Why don’t people like fruitcake? There’s this amazing article from the Washington Post that talks about fruitcake’s image in the US. The most memorable joke about fruitcake is likely the original: Johnny Carson joked that there really is only one fruitcake and it just keeps getting passed around.

Since then, the fruitcake industry has just been in ruins. Really! It’s fruit in cake! What bad about it?

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A present from SPom

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Cute little fruitcake!

It’s moist and dense and cherry-y and mmmm. Could eat this all day, people!

Tomorrow is National Chocolate Candy Day.

-SPAK

 

[FHCx360] National Pumpkin Pie Day

6 days to go.

IT’S NATIONAL PUMPKIN PIE DAY!

SP made a pumpkin pie with SPom’s help. We had fun.

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Festal pumpkin cans have this recipe… So we just had to follow it.

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We accidentally put in the whole 12 oz can of evaporated milk instead of just 8 oz. Made it really liquidy. We used some flour to thicken it back up. AK suggested we use non-evaporated milk to cancel it out.

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A very liquidy pie goes into the oven. Had to watch out for sloshing.

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This rose and fell quite poetically.

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Then we got to have it for breakfast today!

Tomorrow is National Candy Cane Day.

-SPAK

[FHCx359] National Egg Nog Day

7 more days…

IT’S NATIONAL EGG NOG DAY!

We aren’t like Rocky, where we’ll just drink eggs.

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No, we’d much prefer to take our egg juice with milk and cream and sugar and spices. So… Egg nog! It’s an old enough drink that its origins are unknown, but no one can deny its association with the end of December. Some drink it hot, some cold; some drink it boozed up, some just as is.

We have ours thanks to our neighbors, Land O Lakes.

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Be careful of nog-stache…beard… Just gross. Takes a while to clean out.

Tomorrow is National Pumpkin Pie Day.

-SPAK

[FHCx358] National Pfefferneuse Day

8 daaaaaaays remaining!

TODAY IS NATIONAL PFEFFERNEUSE DAY!

Bless you!

Pfefferneuse, or more appropriately “pfeffernüse,” are little spice cookies from central Europe. They are traditional to December in Germany, Denmark, and the like, specifically around the time of the feast of Saint Nicholas around December 5/6. Despite being named “pepper nut,” these contain no nuts. Or peppers. Who comes up with this anyway?

The cookies came over here with the Dutch Menonites, so they aren’t too unfamiliar for most living in the Eastern states. They aren’t hard to find in grocery stores around this time of year.

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“I’m glad they’re soft,” AK exclaimed. They taste gingerbready and cardamomy and such and so on. If these were around during the rest of the year, we would probably get them again.

Tomorrow is National Egg Nog Day!

-SPAK