Homemade In-n-Out Animal Fries

We haven’t been to Southern California in a little over 3 months now. That means that the In-n-Out withdrawal, the so-called “out-n-out,” has finally set in. Luckily for us, with AK‘s creativity and SP‘s methodicalness, we have a temporary solution until our next visit West. Or South. Wherever there’s burgers.


We’ve tried a few different ways of making what we miss most: animal style fries. People like the burgers and all, but for us, it’s all about that extremely saucy, super oniony fry mixture that gets our motors running. There are some serious bummer recipes out there that basically say that Thousand Island dressing is the same thing. They’re wrong. Here’s the closest we’ve come:


  • 1 cup Hellmann’s Light Mayo
  • 1/2 cup (or a little extra) Ketchup
  • 3 Tbsp sweet pickle relish
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp pepper
  • 1 tsp sugar
  • 1 tsp cider vinegar

Basically you mix all of it and set it in the fridge for a couple hours for maximum impact. But making it looks a little funny.


Heinz for the appropriate taste.


Maaaayo. Maaaaaaaaaaaayo. Daylight come and me wanna make fries.




We relish making this sauce.


You can also add a bit of garlic powder if you want.


If you went to Kindergarten, you may remember that you get different colors when you mix stuff together.

Ok, so the sauce is made. The next important part is the umyum. This part is even more tricky than mixing the sauce because it requires patience, varying temperatures, and a keen eye. We’ll leave the eyeball part to AK.


White onion outperforms yellow onion in this mixture.


Dice. (Yes there’s yellow onion back there that we were going to use for our Sloppy Joes.)


A tbsp and a half of vegetable oil, and throw in the onions.


Leave it on super low heat, covered, for 30 minutes. For serious. Just leave it alone. SP STOP OPENING IT TO CHECK ON THEM!


After that 30 minutes, bring the heat up and stir for about 6-8 minutes. Then throw in 1/4-1/2 cup of water, leaving it on hot, and let the water cook out. This will help loosen any stubborn bits of umyum and help the flavor get a bit smoky.

Ok. Now it’s time to build our animal fries. We may be a bit sacrilegious because we aren’t using cheese, but then again, we can’t source In-n-Out fries either. So this can only be a temporary fix.


We used some Ore Ida “zesties.” They’re great seasoned fries to make in the oven and really good quality fries no matter the style you get. 


Get some of the umyums on there.




Served tonight alongside some homemade Untidy Josephs.

Please feel free to try the recipe and give us your feedback!

Man it feels good to type up some stuff again. Catch you on the flip-flop?


[FHCx321] National Fast Food Day


At dinner this evening, SP and AK reminisced over many fast food memories of childhood and adolescence. Much of America can remember certain instances tied to McDonald’s and the like, and it’s just so ingrained in our culture that it would be truly a shock if someone had never had food from any one of the multitude of fast food options. Things to note in our fast food history:

SP used to get a combo of two hamburgers at McDonald’s when he was little. But… No pickles or onions. It wasn’t until much later that he realized how amazing those are.

AK used to not understand why her brother would get the Western Bacon Cheeseburger at Carl’s, Jr. because she didn’t like barbecue sauce. Again, something that would turn around later in life.

SP was the kind of guy who would dip his french fries into his Frosty at Wendy’s.

AK used to love getting the Chicken Teriyaki Bowl with an Oreo shake from Jack-in-the-Box. Unfortunately, we have none in Minnesota.

SP didn’t experience White Castle until he was in his teenage years, because the rest of the SPamily tends to really dislike White Castle. When he found out how amazing it is, he felt betrayed that he’d never been exposed to it.

AK knows how to order her food at In-n-Out just right. It’s important to get your fries animal style with extra spread. Gimme dat extra.

Anyway, tonight’s pick was narrowed down to Arby’s. A good choice to celebrate all that is fast food!

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It was fast. And food!

Whichever speedy drive-thru option you choose today, just know that America runs on this. A true patriot eats pre-prepared foods from under a heat lamp.

Tomorrow is National Homemade Bread Day and National Baklava Day!